Mom Of The Year

          Unfu*k Yourself 

“Before you think ‘but …’ or start to get your knickers in a twist….let me say one more thing: By defending your circumstances as they are right now, you are actually making a case for being where you are. Giving it up.” (Unfu*k Yourself, Gary John Bishop)

This resonates with me on so many levels. I made excuses for my miserable situation for so many years not because I was okay with it or trying to fool myself but because I was embarrassed by it.  I lived a life of unfulfilled promises, lack of love, lack of passion, regret, resentment and the list goes on. I allowed it becaus i was embarrassed of my situation and having to admit I made a really big mistake by staying where I stood.

When I finally realized that life is so much more then the misrable life I was muddling through and tolerating I felt a sense of freedom even though I didn’t actually take action physically. Mentally I decided my son deserved more then this, I didn’t want him thinking that constant disappointment and fighting was how life was supposed to be. With this I started to build the life I wanted him to have. Julian was only a year old, I started positive affirmations with him as he went to sleep or when we were playing, actually whenever I could. When he was bullied at 3 I started making cards of how awesome he was and had him tell me why he was amazing and loved himself. At that moment, to teach by example I started to do the same. There was my shift.

Making myself be accountable for how I feel about myself opened me up to a shift in my life. It was very hard for me at first. When you’re in a loveless marriage, unappreciated, ignored and put down daily, no matter your strength if you’re not contering it, it seeps in and becomes your aweful reality. Each day I would pick 3 different things to love about me until I acknowledged it was real, I believed it because it was true. 

I am not willing to put up with, make excuses or hide behind embarrassment anymore. I am the hero of my own story. I am moving onward and upward, why should I? Julian deserves it, moreover deserve it. I love being a mom, holistic practitioner, essential oil teacher, blogger, friend, sister, daughter and all the other hats I wear because I am writing this story on my terms.

Young Living

Cyber Monday and Young Living

*CYBER MONDAY DEALS* 8am MT-11:29pm MT (10:00am EST-1:29am EST)

👉15 % off Ningxia Red 2 pack
(Free Red shot included)
👉15 % off Ningxia Red 4 pack
(free Red Shot Included)
👉 15 % off Ningxia Red 2 oz. Singles
(Free Red Shot included)
👉 15 % off Ningxia Nitro
(Free Red Shot included)
👉 15 % off Zyng
(Free Red Shot Included)
👉 15 % off these three Vitality oils: Peppermint, Cinnamon Bark, and Lime

So why are the products some of my fave and why is Ningxia nectar of LIFE?! Read on 👇
🍷Ningxia Red: Antioxidant Supplement powerhouse that supports every single body system. Provides trace minerals, amino acids, Infused with Citrus oils, and more. The people of the Ningxia region in China believe the Ningxia Wolfberry is the secret sauce to their incredible wellness and longevity of life.

💥 Ningxia NITRO: Physical and mental energy booster in a tiny tube! Skip the energy drink and grab a NITRO. Infused with essential oils, botanical extracts, D-ribose, Korean ginseng, and green tea extract, NITRO supports both physical and cognitive fitness 💪.

⚡️Zyng: Sparkling drink lovers unite with this delicious essential- oil infused goodness. Zyng contains the same wolfberry purée found in Ningxia Red, with sparkling water, pear and blackberry juices and a hint of lime and black pepper vitality oils! Not only delicious, but perfect for an afternoon pick-me-up without artificial flavors and preservatives.

🌱 Peppermint Vitality: Add some extra freshness to your Ningxia shots with a drop of peppermint vitality! Use as a natural breath freshener, add a drop to some tea or your bullet proof ☕️ coffee and let your inner Energizer 🐰 Bunny out! And support your Digestive system while you’re at it!

🍁 Cinnamon Bark Vitality: Who loves sweet and spicy? 🙋 Add a drop of this to your Ningxia for some 🔥 heat! Perfect to add to your holiday baking as well. Beyond the yummy flavor this oil supports the digestive system and is great for heart health too. Bam!

🍈 Lime Vitality: My go-to oil to add to Ningxia and of course all the guacamole you could ever eat. But did you also know this oil supports the respiratory and immune system? Yup! Tasty and good for your body too!! Give me all the Lime Vitality.

🔥 Red Shot: A blend of tangerine, mandarin, lime, grapefruit, cassia, and spearmint. You know that Red Hot candy? That’s what it tastes like to me! 😂This oil is priceless because we can’t buy it in the virtual office. We were able to grab some at convention and it’s in the Club Red Holiday set, but that’s it! It also contains Cassia, an essential oil we can only get in the Oils of Ancient Scripture kit! So um, yeah I’m gonna be grabbing up a few of these. Cassia is fabulous for the immune system and cardiovascular system and those citrus oils are all vitality oils that are immune system support powerhouses! And Spearmint Vitality is great for the digestive system, weight management, and it’s actually a big oil for your emotional well being by opening up and releasing emotional blocks.

Wondering what it would be to purchase all these goodies at 15 % off? 328.95pv and this means you get FIVE free Red Shots and ALL the YL promos if it’s your first or second 300pv for the month.

Order here:

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I am worth it · living fit · Manifest 2017 in 17 Seconds · Meditation Minded · Prepping Healthy Meals For Better Eating Habbits

Living Fit and Feeling ALIVE

This might be my shortest blog post ever lol
My transformation has been massive these last 30 days. The has been a life changer for me, I haven’t had one so big since I started using my Young Living Oils! I invite you to join me on this journey. They say it is more than just a treadmill and a salad – this is an understatement for real. I have been struggling through life to get things completed and was in need of a restart and extra push. This was it for me. I have mental clarity, enough to complete writing my book, finish 3 list of things to do not to mention losing weight and inches, fitting into clothes that once were too tight, I lost more inches than pounds which makes me really happy. I feel free and awake, more then I have in a long time.
Check out the website and join my team 177 Ningxia Ninjas, I promise you won’t be sorry at all!!! I won’t stop posting until I am heard xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Manifest 2017 in 17 Seconds · Meditation Minded


iamManifestation is something very real and tangible. I believe in vision boards, meditation, visualization and “I am” statements. They work as long as you keep them in sight and repeat them daily out loud as well as in your head. Put it out into the universe and the universe will respond.

When ever I start reading my “I am” affirmations I always hear Mike Shinoda’s voice from Linkin Park “I am a little bit of loneliness, a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints, but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want, what I want you to feel.  But it’s like no matter what I do, I can’t convince you, to just believe this is real”  and soon enters Chester Bennington fiercely “Don’t turn your back on me, I won’t be ignored”. (Faint, Meteora 2003)  This is my inner fight within myself daily. I won’t ignore my inner self anymore.

Most people put themselves down without even realizing they are doing it. How many times in a day do you think “ah I can’t, I shouldn’t, I won’t, impossible, I wish” I ask why not?  When you put things on paper and take them out of your head they become reality. Once you see the words in front of you and read it aloud over and over it will soon become the script of your life.  Who are you? What are you? You can change the reality of your life with the words “I AM”.  You write these statements as if it has already happened, you are already living this life that is your best life.

I am powerful

I am enough

I am successful

I am an amazing mom

I am peaceful

I am love

I am an elevated soul

I am a home owner

I am a published author

I am disciplined

I am a great example

I am in control of my eating

I am a great saver

I am a great leader

I am debt free

I am able to help others financially

I am living a life with purpose

I am aware of my abilities

What are you? Are you where you want to be? What are you going to do about it? Publishing these I am affirmations of mine is taking me out of my comfort zone and putting it out in the biggest way I know how. Start your list and see how long it comes into fruition! You are worth it, you deserve it and YOU ARE!



Uncategorized · Young Living

Making This Change for MY Health



This is my time to shine. I have been working on my weight and health for many years now. I am part of Young Living but aside from using my oils on Julian and myself I haven’t been doing much sharing. I have just been so focused on healing, mentally from my pending divorce and abusive marriage, physically from my many ailments that they still don’t have answers for and emotionally from both.

I love my oils because they have helped me deal with my health by supporting my immune system and for Julian his respiratory  and immune system. Not to mention the great income it affords me to keep up with life while not working. I am now ready to take the next step in life and do a total reset on my health. Young Living has a Living Fit Club, my section of YL is called Triharmony Oilers. Our leader (nothing cult like about it lol) has made every tool available to us to help us succeed and I am using it to the fullest.

This fit club is more than just resetting health, it shows you how to eat whole foods, no fillers as well as learning about how to keep negativity out of your life and how to work on your finances. Just for joining up I received 500 wellness dollars to go towards a vacation and can earn up to 500.00 more throughout the year because yes, vacations are required.  As well as building a stress free and debt free life. They offer recipes, exercise videos, overall support, a Facebook group, travel information in one click, and if you want to take Young Living to the next level and make it a business they have the videos and training for that too. 

The first challenge I joined starts in 19 days and I am going to be putting together a team. You can check out the fit club here. My sponsor number is 236006 should you decide to take the leap of wellness with me. If you want to learn more in person we are having an event, please see below for the details.  I hope you choose to join me on this amazing journey of wellness because we are both WORTH IT!

living fit club
Guess what is in less than 3 weeks away? The next Young Living RALLY! Know what that means? New products AND product specials! But that’s not all… We are focusing this Long Island rally on the Living Fit Club so you learn how you can grow your life AND your business.

And here’s the deal for current LFC members:
Get to the event and earn $100 wellness dollars towards travel and $50 wellness dollars for each new person you bring to our event.

I realize that many of you do not live anywhere near us SO I want to offer you something, too! Go to any YL Rally near you (or host one), show me that you were indeed there, and I will give you $100 wellness dollars, too! #TeamYL #LFCstrong

To register for the Long Island event, go here:

Not close to us? No worries! Go on YL’s website and look for a Rally near you! They are all over the world.

Mom Of The Year

Who I Thought I Was Vs. Who I Am

mom-of-the-year-imageBefore having Julian I pictured the awesome mother I was going to be. Easy pregnancies, amazing births and no sleepless nights because we would do everything together. No television for sure just listen to classical music, stimulation the baby’s mind. I would make all my own baby food as I breast fed each baby for 2.7 years. We would only eat organic, no meat, no fast food ever. I had all of our afternoons playing in the park, going to museums and making tons of DIY crafts. Taking every class offered at Michael’s, Home Depot and at the library. We wouldn’t need the library for books because we have our very own on the second floor of our house filled with books that we all spend time reading every Sunday. We would laugh and share the story we just read at our fabulous Sunday dinner.

Soccer, violin, chess, physics, baseball, dance, yoga, long walks and bike rides in a new park each week. Oh my goodness, walls of finger paintings and rows of planted flowers to go around our garden full of fruits, vegetables and herbs that we maintain and take care of daily on our acer of a backyard. Swimming lessons, backyard BBQ’s with full decorations that everyone would want for sure. My hair and make up always on point and I would never curse or lose my shit. Homemade meals every night with beautiful lunches and little “have a great day” notes in the lunch box for everyone.  Our green lawn that no one could figure out how we keep it so green. Kids outside, me and their father with them having picnics together, playing games and of course laughing to no end.

Amazing family vacations every year, a passport filled with stamps, no state unvisited.  Girls getaway weekends that we go on every year, with time and money to spend. Date nights a few times a month, nothing but smiles, laughter and love. When we come home the children are all tucked in sleeping and we have a quite moment by the fireplace. Spontaneous trips, surprise anniversary parties, surprise birthday parties and amazing just because gifts. Never raising our voices or even having to because our kids are so well behaved, model children.

Now for reality!!! I had a few miscarriages before being given a chance to be a mom to Julian. My gratitude for this miracle, there are no words. My pregnancy was hard, labor and delivery even harder, ending in an emergency C-section which I would do all over again at any moment.

Julian slept for about 5 hours straight by his 5th week, allowing me to finally sleep for 4 hours. I had the baby blues and looking back I would say it might have been even more than that. When Julian was 11 days old I saw a maternal and wellness social worker who helped me understand wtf was going on. She told my husband that I have to sleep at least 5 hours a night/day and needed time alone. That lasted for a few weeks and then I was back on my own.

Home made food was replaced with store bought, although it was organic, well most of the time… some of the time. I did breast feed but most of the time it was pumped milk because sitting there while he fed gave me anxiety. I wasn’t sure he was getting enough milk or if he was sleeping or eating and I couldn’t sit through it so I pumped and stored the milk for when it was needed.  I breast fed until I had to go back to work because I felt clumsy and unsure of myself to do it at the daycare. I went to the daycare at lunch time to see my little and got to see all the “perfect” moms breastfeeding their littles and for the first month it really brought me down until I realized – I am just not that mom. I also got to know the other moms and realized they struggled just like me.

I kept up with no TV for the first 4 months, okay 3 months. If I needed to shower I would put him in the swing or jumpy thing and put the TV onto something educational, eventually settling for PBS and Sprout. Once I felt the freedom of a shower I used the magical box to entertain while I cooked, made a phone call or went to the bathroom almost alone as my two Boston Terriers needed to make sure I survived the trip to the toilet. I did cook every night, organic, local produce and I still do, but there are some chicken nuggets thrown in there along with some hot dogs, both organic to make me feel better about going against my anti meat idea.  We don’t eat fast food often but in a pinch chicken and french fries saves the day. We also order pizza once a week but pizza isn’t fast food .. right?

Julian plays soccer and has since he was 2 only because he doesn’t walk, he runs everywhere so I thought that would be a good outlet. He tried basketball which he stunk at, and I am okay saying that because not everyone can be good at everything. He is amazing at puzzles, mazes, and constructing things. He can make his train tracks into a wonderful town with many complex railways all from an idea in his head. He can take apart Legos that were put together with the instruction booklet and make them into something equally amazing. He gets frustrated but through mindfulness that I taught him he can settle himself down. We did yoga for a while, Julian made up his own superhero routine that we did up until my recent issues.

I curse, I lose my shit.. often and Julian sometimes reminds me to take a deep breath and walk away. That makes me proud, not only is he using what I taught him but he is giving it back to me to help remind me of my mindfulness. We have open dialogs about the words I chose and why I lost it. We talk a lot about anything and everything, but not as a family, just the two of us. We have a garden that grows in old tires I found and painted. The flowers I planted from the box of wild flowers from the dollar store come up every year and I don’t touch it. We rent a small apartment and live in close quarters and we’re good with that for now. Julian and I eat dinner together every night, sometimes at the table sometimes in the living room in front of the TV ::gasp:: so what.  We have our community service Saturdays that get planned but not always executed, and that is okay because lazy day Saturdays are fun too. We’ve been to a few museums, all revolving  around dinosaurs and filled pairs of socks with stuff for the homeless to give out along the way. Julian and I spend time at a few parks here and there, travel to Brooklyn or to NC to see my sister but no fancy family vacations on that private island.  Although Julian and I went on a cruise once and I wouldn’t EVER recommend going alone on a cruise with a 3 year old and neither would the other guest.

I don’t have three kids or that loving husband either. That’s okay. I am the mom I am supposed to be. I am not perfect and chances are the women or family that you might be admiring isn’t either. Life didn’t go as planned and that is okay too. My marriage wasn’t what I hoped for but my son is more then I could have ever wished for. I am forever grateful for that man because without him I wouldn’t have my miracle. Julian doesn’t have an attentive or selfless father but that is okay because he has me and others around that appreciate the gentle soul he is.

It is okay to fail, just understand that you are not a failure.  It is okay to be upset, cry, laugh and wish for something more but appreciate all you have in the moment because there is someone out there wishing they had all you have.

We have good days and bad days, you can’t appreciate one without the other and we learn from both. There are days I want to run away and just give up, but I don’t. I feel my feelings and move on. My little is always watching, he sees me mess up and he sees me achieve my goals. He sees me laugh and he has seen me cry.

I don’t have even close to anything these other moms have in my community and I am okay with that. I am an awesome mom that has so much love for my son and my life, turns out that is all we really need. We use our oils, practice what we preach, give what we can and love with all our heart. I might not be that perfect mom to the world but I am to the one that counts the most.


YouTube, Adventures With Julian

Sunrise to Sunset


Our summers in the past have been jam packed with things to do revolving around my work schedule. This summer much like last has been different because of my limitations on what I can do. Does Julian care, it would seem not, as he is just happy to be hanging out with me. I think about the difference from when I was working compared to how things are now. Is it better to be the working mom or the slightly sick stay at home mom?

I planned things non stop with other working moms for after work once we picked our littles up from daycare, which was located on the grounds of our job. I made up different adventures for Julian and I to do, lists of adventures to be exact. I basically made sure if I wasn’t working we were doing something even if it was just game night in our house. I lived everyday with the guilt that someone else was taking care of him while I worked. I tried to do as much as possible with him to get rid of the guilt but in reality it just made us both tired. It also gave Julian the expectation that we would always be on the move which gave us limited rest days, if any at all.

Fast forward to January of 2016, I had septicemia, was in the hospital for weeks and it was my last time stepping foot into my office as a worker. I was placed on leave without pay/unpaid medical leave. I applied for SSDI and for disability retirement through my job. The disability retirement that I applied for a year ago was just approved a few days ago as I sit in court with state disability.  I was left with no pay but the freedom to be home with Julian mid kindergarten year. I was able to be there for the Royal Tea party, although I am sure I could have gotten the time off of work to go but I would have had to rush back. I was able to volunteer for the science fair which we were both super excited about. Eventually I realized aside from that there wasn’t much else I could do, one because I have zero income and two because I was just sick or in pain from past injuries to my back.

I can honestly say I miss my job, the people. the purpose and most of all the paycheck. On the other hand I love being home with Julian. Not having the means to do much it made me slow the eff down and realize he doesn’t want or need to be whisked away  running from one bounce house, play date, vacation or whatever to be happy. This year I have been in the hospital twice, all he wants is to hang out with me wherever I am. I hate that being in the hospital has become a common normalcy for us but it has made me realize that what I wanted to give him, what my guilt wanted to give him really wasn’t necessary.  All we both needed was time, which is exactly what today was all about.

Long Island has an abundance of beaches to pick from, one of our favorites is Robert Moses. We got up at 4:30 am went and bought some breakfast and headed to the beach to make sure we didn’t miss the 5:43 sunrise. It was beautiful, we watched it cuddled in a blanket. It was too cold and the water was too rough to let him go in so we left soon after only to return at 5:00 pm. We set up camp and I got to watch and record him playing in the water, with his toys and just having fun. As the sun started to set we went to our blanket, he dried off and we took in the lavender sky, we even got to meditate to the crashing of the waves. It was a perfect day filled with laughter and bonding.

Working, not working, active or not – the time we spend, not the quantity but the quality is all that truly matters.  Enjoy your days as well as your nights and give those you love something great to reminisce about in the future.

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YouTube and You!

lego table

A summer list of things to do turned into a home bound summer with lots of healing for me. I have been sick off and on for the past few years with no true explanation. I go soon for more testing to see if they can pin point my issues. This put a huge damper on our summer bucket list. Julian LOVES watching different channels on YouTube and wanted to start his own.

I already had a channel set up for my oils, which only has one video uploaded so far. So I changed the name to “The Guillaume Family, Adventures With Julian” and we started recording videos. So far I think we have 12 all together and are working on many different ideas for future videos. I was warned by one of my doctors to not allow Julian’s face to be seen on the channel. I am a very protective mother but feel that it is okay to have him on line showing what he loves. He is fully dressed and doing nothing inappropriate although I do know that a child can just exist and still attract a pervert no matter where they are, in person or on line. I decided to go forward and upload the videos and make them public.

Julian is a kid that is uncomfortable having a lot of attention on him and hates speaking in front of people. I feel that this is a great way to get him comfortable speaking in front of an audience, even if he is not physically in front of him. He loves talking about his toys, dinos and giving instructions on what he has learned. He is using his creativity to come up with different ideas for a video and figuring out what to use and how. He is his own director, producer and star of the show while I get to be the camera women behind the scenes.  His self esteem and confidence has increased an enormous amount.

We’ve gone to many garage sales as it allows us to find things to be a part of his videos that will keep us in budget since I have no consistent income right now. It is also something we can do together since I’m limited to what I can do and where I can go. This past weekend we went to 14 garage sales and found many treasures to add to his collection of ideas. We had a great time, his excitement and overall awe of going to so many garage sales was awesome.

I shared his channel on FaceBook asking people to like his videos and possibly subscribe and he was over the moon as he saw the numbers go up and that he got 5, YES 5 subscribers, only one that we know. I feel horrible that our bucket list has been put on hold until my PICC line comes out and get clearance to finally end my meds but Julian doesn’t seem to mind. We have recorded videos and uploaded them which he stated was his life long dream (he’s 7 lol).   In our hallway we have a collection of pictures, we add a few each day for an art show that we will have at the end of the summer and he’s gotten to sleep in without being rushed to go anyplace. He is happy even without all my planned activities…imagine that!!

If you want to check out our masterful creations, lol, you can check out Julian here Adventures With Julian.

Happy You Tube-ing everyone


Three Little Birds


This weekend coming I’m getting the picture above tattooed on me. Almost a year ago one of my best friends passed away from cancer. She was the most amazing spirit and I know she continues to walk with me today.

Out of respect for her family I decided not to post her name. This was not only an amazing selfless friend but an amazing mother to two under 5, wife, sister, social worker, kind compassionate and caring human. A true example of practice what you preach, a lover of love and life.

I went for my mammogram a month and a half before she did, the biopsy of my lump was a negative nothing while hers was full blown stage 4 cancer. The cancer was a leach that sucked out life from her until there was none. She followed every guideline giving by every doctor with no positive results. Her attitude was always up and up. She was a fighter, a survivor a warrior. Unfortunately the cancer had a secret weapon that was unable to be broken.

The tattoo was one she, another friend and I were going to get once she kicked cancers ass. I keep putting off getting it because even after all this time it still seems unreal that she’s not here to get it with me. To say I miss her daily is an understatement, I pray for those kids everyday along with her husband and family as well as sending them Reiki. Thier pain must echo mine X 100, I wish I could do more but like her they’re “all good.”

Her free spirit is with me always, watching over those beautiful kids and there to wipe her husbands tears away. The love of her community of family, friends and clients will be felt and heard forever. She has changed our lives, made us better people and always loved me even when I couldn’t love myself.

Three Little Birds
Don’t worry about a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Singing’ don’t worry about a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Rise up this mornin’
Smiled with the risin’ sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Saying’, (this is my message to you)
Singing’ don’t worry ’bout a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Singing’ don’t worry (don’t worry) ’bout a thing
‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright
Rise up this mornin’
Smiled with the risin’ sun
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true
Sayin’, this is my message to you
Singin’ don’t worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh
Every little thing gonna be alright, don’t worry
alright / Pitch by my doorstep Singin’ sweet songs Of …
Aug 23, 2014 – Three little birdsLyrics by Bob Marley: Dont worry about a thing, Cause every little thing gonna be all right. 
Genre‎: ‎Roots reggae
Recorded‎: ‎1977
Writer(s)‎: ‎Bob Marley


The Process of Seperation

Describe Yourself in 360 Characters


I joined a dating on line website thinking I was ready to get back out there. We are still married, he is dating someone and our marriage has been dead for at least 4 years. Because of this I thought I was ready to jump back in slowly.. dip my toe in the water. I signed up with no picture and the briefest description. My hobbies listed were Target, I couldn’t be with someone that doesn’t appreciate Targets greatness. Next my son, oh wait I needed to change the order of that since he is my number one and don’t want people thinking I love target more than Julian lol. I listed building Legos, being a mom, cooking and some traveling. I wanted to list catching up on sleep, being in a vegetative state and picking up after EVERYONE, but I decided not to.

After week one, getting messages about threesomes and hook ups with that description of nothingness I decided to add one picture and change my intro. Problem is all pictures of me include my son because we are joined at the hip for the most part. Even my selfies have his face attached to check. I put a big heart over his face on one of my favorite pictures of us and posted it. I changed my intro to a simple “coming out of a 17 year marriage, looking for friends, just seeing what is out here.  Again I got the crazy messages, my favorite was ” I have a female friend tht loves your picture and wants to be your sex slave”.  With that I also got serious messages from guys that seemed okay.

One in particular always had something to say each day no matter how small. Guys when messaging a female that you might be interested in don’t start out by calling her babe, sweetheart, baby, even starting a message with beautiful “hey beautiful, how are things”. This is such a turn off to me, then when I do tell you my name you take it upon yourself to shorten it with a nickname, why ask my name if you’re going to rename me?

I took the questions people were asking me on a serious note, including my frequent flyer (ff) and changed my intro again:

“Hi! I’m coming out of a 17 year marriage and not looking for anything serious, possible friends. I have one son and I am a holistic practitioner and blogger.

I am a mom first, I’m my son’s den leader in the Scouts as well as his religion teacher, he is my number 1. Although I teach religion I am more of a spiritual person who believes there is good in any situation. I’m sarcastic, I love to laugh and hate drama. I’m not looking to hook up, it really has been a long time since I’ve been single so I’m taking it slow.

I’m looking forward to what the future holds for me.”

This intro got me even more messages about hooking up and even more “meet me” request. So either I am speaking a secret language that I am unaware of or these people just don’t read.

My ff  sent me messages checking in, asking about my day and asking about things I like, which was nice but when I asked these questions back I never got answers. He asked me to exchange phone numbers, which I declined and then asked me to send him a voice message so he can bask in the sound of my voice (gag). I promised myself that I would listen to my gut feeling and with him I felt something was off. He asked if I was just separated and not divorced which it states on my profile in the questions you have to answer, I was honest “YES”, his reply, “I will be understanding and patient with you and you must do the same with me”  Excuse me “I MUST” no sir, I am not looking for anything other then to chit chat on line which I made extremely clear, I was not looking to meet or hook up. I was not asking for anything. Most of his following messages made me feel like he was doing me a favor by talking to me so I blocked him.

He made me realize that my intuition should always be listened to, if I don’t feel comfortable in a situation it is okay to remove myself from it. I also realize that I am not ready for these sites just yet. The offering of a sex slave was interesting but with the offer of someone else who I thought was awesome on the site asking to meet up I feel I am not ready for that. I explained this and he was gracious and a gentleman. When I am ready, if he is still single I will seek him out and see where it goes!