The Process of Seperation

Describe Yourself in 360 Characters


I joined a dating on line website thinking I was ready to get back out there. We are still married, he is dating someone and our marriage has been dead for at least 4 years. Because of this I thought I was ready to jump back in slowly.. dip my toe in the water. I signed up with no picture and the briefest description. My hobbies listed were Target, I couldn’t be with someone that doesn’t appreciate Targets greatness. Next my son, oh wait I needed to change the order of that since he is my number one and don’t want people thinking I love target more than Julian lol. I listed building Legos, being a mom, cooking and some traveling. I wanted to list catching up on sleep, being in a vegetative state and picking up after EVERYONE, but I decided not to.

After week one, getting messages about threesomes and hook ups with that description of nothingness I decided to add one picture and change my intro. Problem is all pictures of me include my son because we are joined at the hip for the most part. Even my selfies have his face attached to check. I put a big heart over his face on one of my favorite pictures of us and posted it. I changed my intro to a simple “coming out of a 17 year marriage, looking for friends, just seeing what is out here.  Again I got the crazy messages, my favorite was ” I have a female friend tht loves your picture and wants to be your sex slave”.  With that I also got serious messages from guys that seemed okay.

One in particular always had something to say each day no matter how small. Guys when messaging a female that you might be interested in don’t start out by calling her babe, sweetheart, baby, even starting a message with beautiful “hey beautiful, how are things”. This is such a turn off to me, then when I do tell you my name you take it upon yourself to shorten it with a nickname, why ask my name if you’re going to rename me?

I took the questions people were asking me on a serious note, including my frequent flyer (ff) and changed my intro again:

“Hi! I’m coming out of a 17 year marriage and not looking for anything serious, possible friends. I have one son and I am a holistic practitioner and blogger.

I am a mom first, I’m my son’s den leader in the Scouts as well as his religion teacher, he is my number 1. Although I teach religion I am more of a spiritual person who believes there is good in any situation. I’m sarcastic, I love to laugh and hate drama. I’m not looking to hook up, it really has been a long time since I’ve been single so I’m taking it slow.

I’m looking forward to what the future holds for me.”

This intro got me even more messages about hooking up and even more “meet me” request. So either I am speaking a secret language that I am unaware of or these people just don’t read.

My ff  sent me messages checking in, asking about my day and asking about things I like, which was nice but when I asked these questions back I never got answers. He asked me to exchange phone numbers, which I declined and then asked me to send him a voice message so he can bask in the sound of my voice (gag). I promised myself that I would listen to my gut feeling and with him I felt something was off. He asked if I was just separated and not divorced which it states on my profile in the questions you have to answer, I was honest “YES”, his reply, “I will be understanding and patient with you and you must do the same with me”  Excuse me “I MUST” no sir, I am not looking for anything other then to chit chat on line which I made extremely clear, I was not looking to meet or hook up. I was not asking for anything. Most of his following messages made me feel like he was doing me a favor by talking to me so I blocked him.

He made me realize that my intuition should always be listened to, if I don’t feel comfortable in a situation it is okay to remove myself from it. I also realize that I am not ready for these sites just yet. The offering of a sex slave was interesting but with the offer of someone else who I thought was awesome on the site asking to meet up I feel I am not ready for that. I explained this and he was gracious and a gentleman. When I am ready, if he is still single I will seek him out and see where it goes!


Manifest 2017 in 17 Seconds · Uncategorized

Crystal Grids


What is a Crystal Grid?

Crystal grids are grids made up of crystals to help manifest an intended goal. This can be anything that is important to you it can range from motivation to work out to world peace. It is a more powerful energy than using just one crystal. There are specific grids and crystal placement for different intentions.

Tools for Making Crystal Grids:

A clear intention is needed. It has to be a clean intention, this is what will charge your stones.

A location for your grid should be of nature: a wood dresser, a glass table, a wooden shelf, metal table, marble counter ext. Cleanse the space with sage, crystal cluster, Palo Santo, or candles.

A small piece of paper with your intention or goal written on it, you can keep this under your center crystal.

An anchor crystal for the middle of your grid; I use a  quartz crystal point. This will be more powerful for directing your intention straight up into the universe. This should coincide with your intention and doesn’t have to be quartz.

Tumbled Stones that align with your intention, you can look that up here.

A Quartz point for activation

A crystal grid cloth  which you can purchase here or you can find ones to print out on Google. I use both, use whichever you like better.

Crystal Grid Layout Process:

Clean your space by burning sage or Palo Santo

State your intention, this can be out loud or in your head. I say it aloud, I feel like it gets to the universe clearer.

Write your intention on a piece of paper

Breathe deep and say your intention for the grid as you place each of the supporting crystals  on the layout

Start from the exterior and move towards the center as you set the grid

Place your intention under the anchor crystal in the middle of the grid.

Next, activate the crystal grid layout. Take a quartz crystal point (can be small or large), and starting from the outside, draw an invisible line between each stone to energetically connect each to the next. It is like connect the dots, connecting each to the other.


Here is a website I found that can help give you some guidance in arranging your crystals for specific intentions. You can check it out here.



How Fast Do Oils Work?

  • 13254094_10154054874646638_3334104993386241016_n

I had my first oily massage experience when I won a raffle at a craft fair. I was beyond excited as I never had a real massage and I love oils.  When she arrived I was nervous, do I get naked? Do I stay dressed? Do I tell her where I hurt or just let her go at it?

She guided me onto her table and covered me up. She explained what to expect and started in with the oils. It was an awsome experience from head to toe. She put peppermint on my feet and told me all the reasons I need to do this daily. Within a few minutes I could taste the peppermint in my mouth.

These oils break through the blood-brain barrier into the olfactory bulb which is a part of the brain that reacts to smells and sound. This is why a scent or song can trigger a memory. Within 20 minutes the oils have reached each of your cells and is in your blood.

The lady that came used oils other then Young Living. Once she left I did a lot of research and consulted with my mentor and realized I needed to use Young Living.

Young Living has a seed to seal process, meaning they own the seed, they own their land, they cultivate their own land, cold press the oil and test it’s purity. I know that the oil I get is a pure oil with no synthetic added to it. If there is a bad crop, that oil will be out of stock. They even invite you to visit the farms which is on my bucket list.

Our skin is our biggest organ. The oils she used didn’t recommend them to be ingested yet I tasted it in my mouth meaning it was in my body.  What we put on our body will eventually be in our body so why not make it pure?

You can check out Young Living here

I truly believe once you see the value you will realize they are priceless!


Daily Intentions


Do you set daily intentions for yourself and/or have your child set them? Do you write them down or speak them out loud, or do both?

Everyday on our way to the bus stop we speak about what our day is going to be like; busy, sports, dinner out etc. Then we go over what a great day we’re going to have. We talk about what fun Julian will have and guess what new things he will learn that day. Some days he doesn’t want to hear it from me so I let him lead the conversation which always ends up with positive affirmations. He questions me sometimes about why I say these things and I always tell him his attitude towards the day is a choice. No matter what, he has to be in school, why not make the choice to enjoy the day.

When he gets off the bus he let’s me know if it was a great day or a not so great day and we talk about why. He’s 6 and tells me everything, something I hope will continue in the future. He understands what went wrong in his day and talks about what he would do differently should it happen again. Constant critical thinking on his part.

We set out intentions at night for the next day right after we say our prayers. He used to make them all about poop and farts but as he got older (we’ve been doing this since he was 3) he understands what we’re doing and why. He understands that a bad moment doesn’t make a bad day. He knows that if he cries it’s okay to laugh soon after.

I found a daily intention tear off pad in Barnes and Noble and started using it with him. Every Sunday, Wednesday and Friday we write out our intentions. There are headings reading : Today I will : Be : Feel : Do: Appreciate: Let Go Of & Attract. Some days Julian fills every line and sometimes it’s only a few words. Once it’s filled out he tapes it to the wall next to the bed so he can remember what he wrote. He still slips his potty words in there but it’s followed by his real intentions.

I love the kid he’s growing into, his insight of self, his sensitive soul and his deep love for people and life. He teaches me something everyday making my heart grown and fill with gratitude.


The Process of Seperation · Uncategorized

The Process of Separation


My marriage has been in the state of separation for many years. Not officially but we lived in two different worlds, most of the time leaving me to feel like a single mother. He went to school and worked part-time on the weekend while I did everything else. I have always been the primary care taker of our son, I have been both mother and father to him.

When I wanted to move out west he pled with me to stay until he finished school and I did. I had so many plans that I put on hold, not just my move but school, having more kids, another dog to name a few. My ability to let go and my hope for a better relationship between him and my son kept me around longer then I wanted to be. This never happened.

I ended up in the hospital a year ago which changed all the dynamics of my life.  I was always the income earner in our house and I was left on unpaid medical leave. I filed for disability but was denied, my appeal is currently in court with the expectancy of it being another six months to be resolved. So I am left with no income yet it was still somehow my responsibility to get rent and other things paid, which I did. I sold my pocketbooks, borrowed and cleaned out my savings. With the money from his job he only took care of things he needed.

He finished school this past summer and got a great job, I was thinking all the money problems were going to be in the past. What a surprise to be totally left out of all financials and treated in a hostile manner. The tension is more than I care to have Julian be around, I can’t get him to leave so I am back to mulling over everything I have and selling anything I don’t want to pack or store.

I put together a crystal grid to help get me where I want to be. I wish no ill will on Him but I look forward to getting where we need to be. This process has been hard, filled with resentment of what we each feel the other has neglected or done wrong. Filled with anger of what we each feel should have been and for me regret that I had to get over for the things I gave up or waited too long for.  I had to heal myself to move on.

I continue to hold my head up high and let things I can’t change roll off my back as I know Julian is always watching. He in an empath like myself so I know he feels deeper and senses emotion more than the average person. I want him to be a kid as long as possible without grown up issues on his mind.  Julian hurts from the rejection of his dad who hasn’t attended his soccer games, basketball games, boy scouts (except one) and all other things he has accomplished as well as everyday life. I try my hardest to keep him balanced and in his 6-year-old space. He is an amazing little guy so all I do, swallowing my pride and forging forward is all for him.

Just because life isn’t going how you want it doesn’t mean it isn’t going as it is supposed to be. Learning to be grateful for what you have and not dwelling on what could have been or should have been can be hard. Once you learn to let go things fall into place as they should be. I know that my future is uncertain with my back degeneration taking away my ability to work the way I always have but I have no doubt that our future is going to be wonderful. The freedom this separation gives us is an amazing gift. I look forward to the finalized divorce and moving on. I know it’s all up from here.

Are you an Empath? Find out here!