I joined a dating on line website thinking I was ready to get back out there. We are still married, he is dating someone and our marriage has been dead for at least 4 years. Because of this I thought I was ready to jump back in slowly.. dip my toe in the water. I signed up with no picture and the briefest description. My hobbies listed were Target, I couldn’t be with someone that doesn’t appreciate Targets greatness. Next my son, oh wait I needed to change the order of that since he is my number one and don’t want people thinking I love target more than Julian lol. I listed building Legos, being a mom, cooking and some traveling. I wanted to list catching up on sleep, being in a vegetative state and picking up after EVERYONE, but I decided not to.
After week one, getting messages about threesomes and hook ups with that description of nothingness I decided to add one picture and change my intro. Problem is all pictures of me include my son because we are joined at the hip for the most part. Even my selfies have his face attached to check. I put a big heart over his face on one of my favorite pictures of us and posted it. I changed my intro to a simple “coming out of a 17 year marriage, looking for friends, just seeing what is out here. Again I got the crazy messages, my favorite was ” I have a female friend tht loves your picture and wants to be your sex slave”. With that I also got serious messages from guys that seemed okay.
One in particular always had something to say each day no matter how small. Guys when messaging a female that you might be interested in don’t start out by calling her babe, sweetheart, baby, even starting a message with beautiful “hey beautiful, how are things”. This is such a turn off to me, then when I do tell you my name you take it upon yourself to shorten it with a nickname, why ask my name if you’re going to rename me?
I took the questions people were asking me on a serious note, including my frequent flyer (ff) and changed my intro again:
“Hi! I’m coming out of a 17 year marriage and not looking for anything serious, possible friends. I have one son and I am a holistic practitioner and blogger.
I am a mom first, I’m my son’s den leader in the Scouts as well as his religion teacher, he is my number 1. Although I teach religion I am more of a spiritual person who believes there is good in any situation. I’m sarcastic, I love to laugh and hate drama. I’m not looking to hook up, it really has been a long time since I’ve been single so I’m taking it slow.
I’m looking forward to what the future holds for me.”
This intro got me even more messages about hooking up and even more “meet me” request. So either I am speaking a secret language that I am unaware of or these people just don’t read.
My ff sent me messages checking in, asking about my day and asking about things I like, which was nice but when I asked these questions back I never got answers. He asked me to exchange phone numbers, which I declined and then asked me to send him a voice message so he can bask in the sound of my voice (gag). I promised myself that I would listen to my gut feeling and with him I felt something was off. He asked if I was just separated and not divorced which it states on my profile in the questions you have to answer, I was honest “YES”, his reply, “I will be understanding and patient with you and you must do the same with me” Excuse me “I MUST” no sir, I am not looking for anything other then to chit chat on line which I made extremely clear, I was not looking to meet or hook up. I was not asking for anything. Most of his following messages made me feel like he was doing me a favor by talking to me so I blocked him.
He made me realize that my intuition should always be listened to, if I don’t feel comfortable in a situation it is okay to remove myself from it. I also realize that I am not ready for these sites just yet. The offering of a sex slave was interesting but with the offer of someone else who I thought was awesome on the site asking to meet up I feel I am not ready for that. I explained this and he was gracious and a gentleman. When I am ready, if he is still single I will seek him out and see where it goes!